Lethal Combinations
by DrowningInYourBeauty
Summary: AU, Outlaw Queen. Robin Locksley is forced by his best friend, Will Scarlet, to make a profile on True Love Connections, a dating website, to find a wife and a mother for Roland. Robin is reluctant...at least until he gets a message from the one and only, Regina Mills.
1. Chapter 1

A dating website. That's right, Robin Locksley has made a profile on a dating website. It wasn't exactly his idea to sign up for True Love Connections but yet here he is with a profile filled with his dislikes, his likes, his background information, what attracts him to a woman, and of course, a profile picture. His best friend Will, that bloke, decided that Robin needed to get back out there and date around. After all, Robin won't have those dashing looks forever and Roland needs a mother soon. Robin's argument against that was that he wasn't going to find a proper wife or mother for Roland on a dating website. Will disagreed and has forced this wonderful website upon him and now Robin is stuck with the profile.

What he didn't expect was to get so many messages from women; ranging from "hey hot stuff, are you looking for some fun ;)" to "how do you feel about foot fetishes?". If he was being honest, not all were that creepy and terrible but the lot of them were. Will made him promise not to delete his account until he at least found someone he would go on a date with and ask them. Easier said than done, obviously. So right now, Robin was scrolling through the 'compatible women' list the website gave him.

Most women on this list were decent looking and some even had kids or typed that they were good with children; a quality that Robin is obviously looking for. If he was being honest, no one really popped out to him. No one that Robin could even see himself having a nice dinner with or even talking to for more than an hour. Fast judgement but after the debacle, otherwise known as his relationship with Marian, Robin has decided that he is looking for a connection that will last past looks; something less shallow and more concrete. With a sigh, Robin logged off and shut down his computer. Maybe he'd try again tomorrow.

* * *

"Katherine, I swear to everything you hold dear to your heart, if you don't stop messaging people on this profile I will have to hurt you!" Regina Mills yelled at her best friend through the phone. She was tapping her foot as she tried to let out some of the angry bottled up inside her. The nerve of this woman!

"I'm sorry, sweetheart but you aren't messaging any men on there. Someone has to!" Katherine said back in defense. She was only trying to help out.

"That doesn't mean you have to message men that I am looking for a good time and I'm up for _anything_ with winky faces!" Regina practically screeched back. There was no way in hell Katherine was going to get away with this. She had been getting messages back asking what her favorite sex position was and which hotel she'd like to meet up at. Creeps, all of them.

"C'mon Regina! If you actually used your account you could be with a hot guy right now instead of yelling at me." Katherine said while trying to hold back her laughter. She knew it would outrage Regina enough to actually do something about it. Regina is not the type of person you can force into doing something, unless you get her mad.

"I'll make you a deal; you stop messaging men that I am ready for sex and I'll choose one man on this website to message."

"Deal! But with one condition, you have to message them by the end of today or I will start asking men what they think not having a gag reflex."

"Katherine! I will actually kill you and trust me; I'll make sure it'll be painful." Regina threatened. Sometimes she just did not understand why she was still friends with Katherine.

"Oh please, how many times have you threatened to do that? There is no follow through. You need me too much. I make your life have adventure instead of the boring routine you seem to have insisted upon. Now, I have to go because Frederick wants to go see one of those Fast and Furious movies or something like that. All I know is that there will probably be a lot of guns and racing cars. Have fun, I'll check back later, love you lots." Katherine said and hung up; leaving Regina to sit by her computer in her office with a frown etched across the face.

"I suppose I need to find myself a man." Regina muttered to herself as she started to scroll through the recommended men for her.

And that's where she saw him. Robin was his name and he was gorgeous. No actually, gorgeous was an understatement. His dimples and those eyes; a lethal combination if Regina has ever seen one. She quickly clicked on his profile to read about him.

 _Hello, my name is Robin Locksley. I am thirty-two years old and I was forced into doing this by my best friend. I was born and raised in England but I live in Boston right now with my two year old son, Roland. I work for an advertising company and enjoy my work. I am looking for someone I could talk to for hours and someone who is good with children. Roland is the most important part of my life and means everything to me. He comes first so please do not message me if you do not like children or are looking for something quick._

Okay so Regina just melted a little bit inside. Robin Locksley appeared to be the most perfect man on the planet. She sighed as she moved her cursor over the message button. She loved children and Robin was not looking for a hook up, just like Regina…but they lived more than three hours away from each other. Regina shook her head and quickly hit the message button. Her deal with Katherine was that she would message a man, not go on a date with him.

 _Hello Robin, my name is Regina Mills. I stumbled upon your account and I would not mind having a conversation with you. Respond if you would like to have a conversation with me as well. Have a nice day._

Regina smirked and hit the send button. There, it was pretty straight forward and polite. If he didn't want to respond to her than that is his problem. She at least upheld her deal with Katherine; that's all that mattered right now.

* * *

Robin had finally gotten from work the next day and Roland was still with the babysitter. He took a deep breath and plopped down on his couch with a bottle of beer and his computer sitting on his lap. He opened his laptop and logged onto his email; he could at least get some work done before Roland was dropped off. He quickly saw that he got an email from True Love Connections about someone sending him a message. He was tempted to delete it; he just was not in the mood for creepy messages right now but for whatever reason he didn't. He opened a new tab and logged onto his account to look at the message.

It was from a Regina Mills and he could not help but laugh as he read it. She made this seem like a formal business meeting or a job interview. He smiled and shook his head before he clicked on her profile. That's when his eyes became bigger and his mouth dropped. Regina Mills was an angel. She had to be sent from heaven because no one this beautiful could be from this world. His heart started racing and he licked his lips as he clicked to enlarge the photo.

Those deep brown eyes that seemed to sparkle and dear god, her smile; it was bright and real. Her lip scar just seemed to add to her beauty instead of take away from it. This woman was both adorable and drop dead gorgeous. Robin's palms started to sweat as he went back to his messages. How should he reply? He quickly cleared his throat and started to type.

 _Hello, Regina…_

* * *

 ** _Hello, it's me..._**

 ** _so yeah. please read and review the story. give me any feedback or any ideas you have and want to see happen in the story. all mistakes are mine and i do not own these characters...if i did, things would be a lot different on that show. have a nice day. -sam_**


	2. Chapter 2

Today just was not Regina's day. First off, she magically woke up with a headache and a runny nose that pretty much put a damper on her entire day. Then, she realized that she was thirty minutes late for work and on top of that, it was raining out. Regina winced as she let her front door slam and kicked off her high heels after she hung up her wet coat. She quickly walked through her foyer to her study to get herself some of her famous apple cider. She needed some today. She sighed as she poured herself a glass and let herself flop down on the couch. Regina needed some time to relax and just breathe.

"For the love of God…" Regina grumbled as she heard her cell phone go off. She slammed her glass on the table in front of her and walked over to the place she dropped her purse.

"What do you want?" Regina snapped as she answered her phone call.

"Geez, what the hell happened to you?" Katherine replied. She was just calling to ask for an update about their deal.

"I had a terrible day and I have a raging headache. My nose is stuffy and I just want to go to bed." Regina replied as she flopped back on her couch and stared at her ceiling.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I hope you feel better. Do you want me to come over and bring you anything?" Katherine cooed into the phone. Nothing was worse than an angry, sick Regina Mills. She has learned from experience that if you want to keep living, you should probably not piss off a sick Regina.

"No thank you, dear. I think I am just going to take a hot bath and get into bed. Possibly call out of work tomorrow." Regina sighed into the phone as she started to rub her temples. Her head was absolutely throbbing.

"Call me if you need anything; Frederick is working late tonight so I am free." Katherine said before they each said their goodbyes and hung up.

Regina slowly made her way up the stairs into her bedroom. She looked at her bed and was entirely too tempted to just get into bed and sleep for the next seven years. She sighed pathetically as tears came to her eyes. She hated being sick more than she hated almost anything else.

She got herself a clean towel from her bathroom closet and started to fill the tub with warm water. Regina slowly got undressed and sat down in the bath. She let out a sigh as the warm water helped relax her muscles and she fought to keep her eyes open. She could stay like this forever.

Fifteen minutes passed and Regina got out of the bath once the water was too cold for her to handle. She was struggling to actually open her eyes and move at this point. She wrapped the towel around herself and reached into her medicine cabinet to take cold medicine. She started shivering as she walked into her bedroom to pick out the comfiest pajamas she owned. She pulled the covers back and quickly moved to get under the covers. Today was just not her day.

* * *

"Hello, my boy!" Robin said as he was hit with his two year old son's body. He had just gotten home from work when Roland's babysitter called and told Robin that Roland had to be picked up in twenty minutes because she had important matters to attend to.

"Papa!" Roland screeched in Robin's face with a wide grin. Robin couldn't help but return his smile and pick his son up.

"Did you have a good time with Taylor today?" Robin asked as Taylor handed him Roland's dinosaur backpack and waved goodbye to her as they left her house.

"Yep! We drawed and I eated cookies." Roland said with an enthusiastic shake of his head.

"That sounds like a party! I wish I could've hung out with you two." Robin reached his car and buckled Roland into his car seat before he set his backpack on the seat next to him and went to get into the driver's seat.

"So, what do you feel like eating for dinner, my boy?" Robin said as he started to drive back to their house. He looked into his mirror and saw Roland smiling and singing along to the radio.

"Nuggets and cheese!" Roland exclaimed and kicked his feet out. Chicken nuggets and mac and cheese were two of Roland's favorite things to eat.

"Oh, of course. What else could we possibly eat when chicken nuggets and mac and cheese is an option?" Robin said as he chuckled and turned onto his street. He enjoyed chicken nuggets and mac and cheese as much as the next person but after a while, even that gets old. He got Roland out of the car and put out some toys for him on the floor in the living room as he started to cook.

Robin had just finished giving Roland a bath after he made a mess with his dinner, like always. That boy always managed to get cheese all over his face; no matter how many times Robin tried to help him. He went into the kitchen to clean up the dishes and the rest of the mess from dinner before he had to put Roland to bed. After Roland went to bed Robin was planning on getting some work done and maybe catch up on some TV shows.

"Papa! Ready!" Roland yelled from his bedroom.

"Alright, hold on! I'll be right in! Pick out the story you want me to read tonight!" Robin yelled back as he dried his hands off.

"Did you brush your teeth, my boy?" Robin asked as he entered Roland's room to find Roland holding a book while trying to get under his covers.

"Yes! Read!" Roland said as he pushed the book into his father's hands. Robin looked down at it and smiled. He wanted him to read Robin Hood again. His son was completely amazed to find out that his father shared a name with his beloved fairytale character.

"Okay, lay down now, Roland." Robin said before he tucked him in and opened the book to read to him. After three pages his son was asleep and Robin quietly left the room after shutting out the light.

* * *

When Regina woke up the next morning she felt even worse than the night before. She rolled over and rubbed her glassy eyes before she yawned and dropped her head back on the pillow. There was no way she was going to be able to make it into work today. She looked at the time and noticed she had forty minutes before she would be expected at work and she quickly reached for her house phone to call out of work. Regina hung up the phone and simply rolled over to go back to sleep. The next time Regina woke up it was to the phone ringing.

"Hello?" Regina said and sniffled afterwards.

"Oh my goodness, Regina, you sound like death!" Katherine said into the phone and Regina rolled her eyes and sighed pathetically.

"I realize that, Katherine. Now, what do you want?" Regina sneezed three times after saying that and quickly went in search for a tissue.

"I was just calling to check up on you. You did not sound nearly as bad as last night as you do now. Did you call out of work?"

"No, Katherine, I am going into work when I can barely breathe. What the hell do you think?" Regina sarcastically responded. She honestly could not handle anymore stupid comments from Katherine today.

"Geez, calm down. I was just checking you. I also wanted to call to let you know that a Robin Locksley has messaged you on True Love Connections."

"Are you seriously trying to get me to flirt with a man while I feel like I am on death's doorstep? And what the hell were you even doing on that site? We had a deal; you weren't going to go on my profile and message anymore guys if I messaged one two days ago!"

"Alright, listen here, grumpy pants. I was just making sure you held up your side of the deal. You did not inform me if you did message anyone. I did not message anyone and I will not." Katherine said while rolling her eyes. Sick Regina may not be able to handle her but she could not handle a sick Regina either.

"Of course, I messaged a man on that stupid website. When have I ever broken a deal or went back on my word?" Katherine continued to roll her eyes and sigh quietly.

"Anyway, can we please talk about your message to him? What the heck were you thinking? You sounded so stiff and polite; not at all friendly." Katherine exclaimed. Regina seriously needs to work on her flirting skills…or conversational skills for that matter.

"I was polite and upfront. There is nothing wrong with that, Kat." Regina said after blowing her nose. She leaned against her headboard as she listened to Katherine go on and on about how she sounded like she was Robin's boss and he needed to report to her office right away for a stern talking to.

"It sounded nothing like that!" Regina argued.

"Oh honey, it kind of did. We need to work on this." Katherine said sympathetically.

"Well, you said he responded. What did he say?" Regina asked as she rolled her eyes and huffed.

"Hello, Regina. I'm glad you messaged me. I'd be happy to have a conversation with you. This might actually be the first real conversation I'll have on here. I've been getting propositions from women constantly on here and let me tell you, I do not want to have a good time with them nor do I want to discuss anything remotely sexual with them. I'd almost given up until I saw you messaged me and read about you. You've intrigued me, I have to say. Not only do you seem like an strong, intelligent woman but you are also extremely beautiful. I hope I do not seem too forward by saying that. I'll be waiting your response, milady." Katherine practically squealed into her phone. Regina could feel her face flush even more than it already was from being sick.

"He is so charming! You have to message him back, Regina. Get on your computer right now!"

"Kat, I'm sick and I'd rather just take some medicine that puts me to sleep so I can hopefully wake up feeling better." Regina said as she bit her lip. When she was going to respond to Robin, she wanted to be at her best.

"Regina Cora Mills, if you do not get your computer right now I will come over there and kick your ass!"

"I am done with you and this conversation, Katherine. Do not use my full name and we both know you will not be coming over here and kicking my ass. I'll respond to the man when I want to."

"Are you kidding me? Have you seen this man? You have to move in quickly before someone else does! I mean, have you seen those dimples…" Katherine sighed dreamily.

"Earth to Katherine, you have a husband. Stop staring at Robin's profile picture and look at your wedding photos."

"Regina, please just answer him back! Who knows when you will feel better! This is important! Do not be idiotic."

"I am going to take some medicine that will knock me out for a few more hours and I will think about it when I wake up. Now, stay off my account and stop calling me. Goodbye, Kat." Regina said before she hung up. She went into her bathroom and got herself medicine and before she knew it, she was fast asleep in her bed again.

* * *

It had been a full week and Robin still had not heard back from Regina Mills. He had reread his message six times now and could see a flaw. He was polite but charming and friendly. He did not understand what could have possibly gone wrong. Roland was playing in the living room with one of his favorite TV shows on and a couple toys in front of him while Robin was busy staring at his message to Regina again.

He shook his head and exited out of the site before he went crazy…or crazier, depends on how you look at it. For whatever reason, Regina Mills would not leave his head. Those eyes were there when he closed his to go to sleep. He would look around for Regina while he was walking around even though he knew that Regina would not be around him. She lived in a small town in Maine while he lived in Boston. There was no way he could possibly run into her but he could not help himself from doing this.

He left his computer sitting on the dining room table as he went to go play with his son. Maybe she'd message him later but right now, he needed to get away from that computer or he might message her again.

It was eleven o'clock at night and Robin had just turned off the television. He yawned and rubbed his eyes as he walked into the kitchen for a bottle of water. He spotted his computer still sitting on the dining room table and he was tempted to go over and check his messages. He gulped and slowly walked over.

When he pulled up Google Chrome, he was hesitant to go on True Love Connections. Was he really acting like this over a woman he barely knew? He had yet to even have a real conversation with her and yet, here was he, pining after her. He took a deep breath and logged onto his account. His heart jumped when he noticed he had gotten a message from someone.

"Please be from Regina, please be from Regina." Robin muttered as he clicked onto the message button.

And sure enough, it was from Regina Mills. He sighed with relief and his heart fluttered. She responded.

 _I apologize, Robin, for not responding to your message soon. I seemed to have caught a bad cold and I was sick for the past week. I've only recently been feeling well enough to go to work. I've been busy with all the work I had to catch up on but I sincerely hope you would still be willing to talk with me? –Regina Mills_

Robin smiled and cleared his throat. He did nothing wrong; she was just sick. He cracked his knuckles as he contemplated on what to respond back with.

 _I'm glad to hear you are feeling better, Regina. I was getting worried I said something wrong and had offended you somehow. I'm glad that was not the case. I'd be honored to still have a talk with you and get to know you better. Hope to hear from you soon. –Robin_

Regina was eating a kale salad at her desk the next day as she went through her emails until she spotted one from True Love Connections. She had a message from Robin. She stopped chewing and dropped her fork onto her salad as she logged onto the website. Her plump lips slightly tipped upwards as she read his response to her. He was sweet and that is exactly what Regina needed in her life. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for what she was about to do.

 _Oh my, your message to me was nothing but polite and kind. You have no reason to fear that you have offended me, dear. I know this may seem to be a bit forward but since we keep missing each other on here, maybe you could possibly text me? My number is 207-698-0034. -Regina_

* * *

 ** _hey, sorry this sucks. i cannot write but i wanted to try. if you guys want me to continue, then i will. review please! if y'all want i'll put my twitter on here so you can tweet me or dm me if you want to talk. have a fantastic day or night. -sam_**


End file.
